The Inner Citadel

This is a place to write honestly about rebuilding a life.

I am a recovering alcoholic, a father, and a student of Stoic philosophy. I didn’t come to Stoicism from curiosity or comfort. I found it when my life became unmanageable—when a marriage was failing, when trust was broken, and when I was drinking more each year to cope with things I refused to face directly.

For a long time, I believed endurance meant silence. I stayed, absorbed blame, tried harder, drank more, and convinced myself that suffering was the cost of loyalty. It wasn’t. It was the cost of not knowing where my responsibility ended and someone else’s began.

Stoicism taught me something simple and difficult:

I am responsible for my choices, my actions, and my character. That’s it. Nothing else.

That understanding changed everything. It gave me the strength to set boundaries, to stand up for myself, and to fight for my daughter when it mattered most. It helped me accept what I could not control without surrendering what I could. It gave me a framework for sobriety that was built on discipline instead of shame.

I eventually found love again—real love—patient, honest, and steady. With support, accountability, and daily practice, I became sober. I remain sober one day at a time.

This site is not advice. It is not therapy. It is not a victory lap.

It is a record of practice:

Applying Stoicism to addiction and recovery Navigating fatherhood with clarity and restraint Learning to live without numbing discomfort Choosing self-respect over chaos

The Inner Citadel is the part of you that cannot be manipulated, coerced, or taken—unless you surrender it yourself. This writing is about learning how to defend it